How to deal with the detractors, cynics and critics

A person who decided to begin a new venture in their life and move in the direction of their dreams asked me a question.

This individual wanted to know how they could not be discouraged by other people’s opinions who believed that they shouldn’t move forward with their plan. In other words, they wanted to know how could they stop being distracted by detractors and other people’s opinions.

I let the person know I could relate. Over the years I’ve discovered from personal experience and observation there are times when one begins to live their purpose and break free from the crowd to express their true self, detractors will often show up.

They will say things like, “This has never been done before.” Or, “You better stick with what you know.”

Such responses may trigger memories from the past where the person recalls times people criticized their efforts and that memory shows up to inhibit what they do today.

It is easy for someone to be a critic then be discouraged by such people who aren’t doing much in their own lives. However, we want to ask ourselves,  “Do I want other people’s beliefs and opinions distract me from what my heart is telling me I should do?”. The answer, of course, should be a resounding NO!

There is a statement by Jesus when he was addressing one of his followers, “What is that to thee, follow thou me.” He was suggesting that this person follow his way of being and not be pulled by the lower thought forms and vibrations of the world.

The key to not allowing ourselves to be distracted by the discourages is to have something that pulls you forward and upward that is more powerful than the energy of other people’s opinions and outside critics even when the facts suggests it cannot be done.

There was a time in Colorado that a police officer arrived at a single car accident where the car sank in the mud and ended up on top of a baby. The officer lifted up the car and pulled the girl to safety.

Another time in Maryland, a helicopter that was used for a scene in a TV show crashed and pinned the pilot under shallow water. The pilots friend (nicknamed Tiny) ran over and lifted the one ton helicopter long enough for the pilot to be pulled to safety.

Examples like these are legion.

Yet if you looked at the facts only, it would have been easy for the people in these examples to be discouraged by the facts. But they were not distracted by the facts because the pull of their intention was stronger than anything else. They would not and could not be moved by anyone who might say, “You can’t do this!”.

So as you move in the direction of your heart’s desires and go where others have never gone before, you simply ask “What would anchor my belief in what I am about to do so that I will not be moved by the discouragers and detractors no matter how well meaning they may be?”

When you are able to answer that question,  your attention will stay on your dreams, visions and goals. You will embody the essence of that statement, “What is that to thee, follow thou me”.  You will follow what is really important and not be pulled by the thought forms of the detractors.

James Trapp

James Trapp has spent his life navigating extremes - from courtroom battles in Miami to spiritual leadership on international stages. A former attorney turned spiritual teacher and organizational leader, James is passionate about one powerful idea: open-minded dialogue can dissolve even our most entrenched divides.

Over the years, he’s led dynamic spiritual communities, served as President and CEO of Unity Worldwide Ministries, and helped polarized groups find common ground in moments of deep conflict. His work has taken him from interfaith summits to public protests, from boardrooms to meditation halls. But at the heart of it all is one question he keeps asking: What becomes possible when we stop trying to win - and start truly listening?

Now, James is turning that question toward one of the greatest challenges in this new era: cultural and political polarization. In a world increasingly fractured by “us vs. them” thinking, can leaders use dialogue not just to manage disagreement, but to transform it?

James explores whether leaders can create the conditions where solutions emerge not from certainty, but from curiosity, courage, and connection. He shares how a single radical practice - open-minded dialogue - can shift the trajectory of a team, a community, or even a culture.

James graduated from Princeton University, the University of Florida Law School, and Unity Worldwide Institute. He brings with him decades of leadership, lived experience, and a deep belief in the power of presence to turn conflict into collaboration.

https://www.jamestrapp.com
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